Screwtape Letters, 2013 - Letter One
Dear Wormwood,
I’m afraid you will find the tone and tenor of this letter to be most discouraging indeed. You have misunderstood my warnings in prior correspondences in the most egregious possible way Wormwood. Did you suppose that your heavy-handed tactics of crowd control would go unnoticed in the age of ubiquitous media? Was I not clear enough to you in my directives ...to be sure that your minions played nice for the cameras? My nephew, I sometimes forget how simple you are. When we say “cameras” in this current age, we do not only refer to bulky dual-reeled mechanisms which rest uncomfortably on the shoulders of burly cameramen or on sturdy tripods. When we speak of people with cameras in the age of the post-moderns, nephew, we speak of anyone with a smart phone. Did it really escape your attention that in beating the enemy’s unarmed, peaceful protesters before cameras you might draw the ire of the terrestrial do-gooders? Did you honestly suppose your gorillas could confiscate every camera that showed them demonstrating the tactics of our father below to the world before the fullness of its time? Have you no concept of Instagram?
My nephew, you tasty little morsel, let me try once more to enlighten. Our kingdom is not yet recognized as The Way by everyone. We are making great strides, no doubt, even with the EU, but we have not yet arrived. Such plans take patience dear nephew and subtlety. I fear you have not properly grasped these concepts. It occurs to me that in your primary studies you have become too impulsive! Impulsiveness is a virtue, don’t get me wrong. It is perhaps the greatest virtue. But we have to use the enemy’s “virtues” against them in This Present Lightness. How else, after all, will we enact our kingdom on earth?
I worry about you my delicious nephew. I worry that you are incapable of executing such pantomimes as patience and subtlety. If, as I suspect you are not competent to use the enemy’s strengths against him you may lose your battle and worse, your ineptitudes might prove costly to our father’s efforts to win the great battle. That would be disastrous for you Wormwood. Although I would be momentarily delighted to consume you, it would prove little comfort to me later when I stand before my superiors on a much lower level to answer for your ineffectiveness.
I have other worms to can, Nephew, but I leave you with this. There is still time to right the ship. While I can’t say I am confident you will do so, I have hope. What else do we have really? In truth, I would much rather have been given charge of Poo-stain than you, Wormwood. He is very capable and shows great promise. You, on the other hand, well, let’s not go into that at this time. And you are after all, my sister’s only son.
I’m afraid you will find the tone and tenor of this letter to be most discouraging indeed. You have misunderstood my warnings in prior correspondences in the most egregious possible way Wormwood. Did you suppose that your heavy-handed tactics of crowd control would go unnoticed in the age of ubiquitous media? Was I not clear enough to you in my directives ...to be sure that your minions played nice for the cameras? My nephew, I sometimes forget how simple you are. When we say “cameras” in this current age, we do not only refer to bulky dual-reeled mechanisms which rest uncomfortably on the shoulders of burly cameramen or on sturdy tripods. When we speak of people with cameras in the age of the post-moderns, nephew, we speak of anyone with a smart phone. Did it really escape your attention that in beating the enemy’s unarmed, peaceful protesters before cameras you might draw the ire of the terrestrial do-gooders? Did you honestly suppose your gorillas could confiscate every camera that showed them demonstrating the tactics of our father below to the world before the fullness of its time? Have you no concept of Instagram?
My nephew, you tasty little morsel, let me try once more to enlighten. Our kingdom is not yet recognized as The Way by everyone. We are making great strides, no doubt, even with the EU, but we have not yet arrived. Such plans take patience dear nephew and subtlety. I fear you have not properly grasped these concepts. It occurs to me that in your primary studies you have become too impulsive! Impulsiveness is a virtue, don’t get me wrong. It is perhaps the greatest virtue. But we have to use the enemy’s “virtues” against them in This Present Lightness. How else, after all, will we enact our kingdom on earth?
I worry about you my delicious nephew. I worry that you are incapable of executing such pantomimes as patience and subtlety. If, as I suspect you are not competent to use the enemy’s strengths against him you may lose your battle and worse, your ineptitudes might prove costly to our father’s efforts to win the great battle. That would be disastrous for you Wormwood. Although I would be momentarily delighted to consume you, it would prove little comfort to me later when I stand before my superiors on a much lower level to answer for your ineffectiveness.
I have other worms to can, Nephew, but I leave you with this. There is still time to right the ship. While I can’t say I am confident you will do so, I have hope. What else do we have really? In truth, I would much rather have been given charge of Poo-stain than you, Wormwood. He is very capable and shows great promise. You, on the other hand, well, let’s not go into that at this time. And you are after all, my sister’s only son.
Your affectionate Uncle,
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