Screwtape Letters, 2013 - Letter Three

Dear Wormwood,

I can scarcely fathom that we share DNA Nephew. I told you your victory would be short-lived, didn’t I? Didn’t I also predict the abject failure of your New Year’s tree as a diversion? It worked so well that over a million of the enemy’s pawns have now engulfed your capital city. I have, as the terrestrials are fond of saying, good news and bad, Nephew. The... good news is that Poo-stain’s tanks which I had the prescience to deploy on your behalf should have things under control again soon. The idea is to send some of our friendlies out among them to create havoc. We shall blame it on the enemy and use it to justify the actions which should have been undertaken the first time. And yes, the plan is for him to do his deed in the dead of night. Such a glorious time that.

Now for the bad news. Your inchoate planning has cost us dearly again Nephew. Surely you noticed that these demonstrators, mostly students are not brandishing weapons nor engaging in the sort of wonton violence we have always been able to depend on from our cohorts overseeing the American interests. As you well know, we merely have to place 100 or so of them in a relatively tight space and simply put a suggestion in their minds that others see things wrongly. Whether the aspersion we cast is one that suggests a baby killer, a Muslim or a Dodgers fan might be among their ranks, things quickly take a turn for the better. There will be no such luck with the Ukrainians nephew. Such a despicably peaceful bunch. To make things more diabolical, news organizations in the important countries are starting to publicize their case.

I understand you are hiding at the moment. Be careful Nephew. That type of cowardice is not yet seen by the terrestrials as a thing of beauty. Keep your head and regain control or I shall have to make a formal motion that we turn your territory over to Poo-stain.

Your affectionate Uncle,